“There is no in-between — you’re either good or bad. Today we’re in-between.” – soccer player Gary Lineker

Dispatcher: 911  Caller: Help! Help! Send the Police! I’ve been shot!  Dispatcher: You said you’ve been shot?  Caller: I’ve been shot!  Dispatcher: How many times were you shot?  Caller: This is the first time.” – actual call to 911

Customer: I can’t get my diskette out.  Tech support: Have you tried pushing buttons?  Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.  Tech support: That doesn’t sound good. I’ll make a note.  Customer: No… wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry. – call to tech support

“On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say 60-65 percent.” NBA union rep talking about how far apart the union and the owners were in negotiations

“During the performance half of you were sleeping, half of you were talking, and the other half of you were flat out being rude!” – 7th grade math teacher to her class

“The sun has been there for 500, 600 years…” Mets outfielder Mike Cameron after teammate Carlos Beltran lost a ball in the sun during a game

“Reason for more bear sightings… More Bears” – newspaper headline

Lawyer: Now, doctor, which way would someone fall after receiving a twelve-gauge shotgun blast directly to the chest? Witness: Down. – courtroom testimony

“Show me the verbal agreement! Show me the verbal agreement!” – Sault Ste. Marie mayor