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Where IS Everybody?

By on August 3, 2023

​Part 1 of “The Gathering People of God” series.

Do you ever look around and ask, “Where has everyone gone?”

I have. Many times.

I've been in ministry for over 30 years. I have seen firsthand how attendance and participation have diminished over those years. I remember feeling frustrated by church people who placed too many things at a higher priority than attending church. I remember too many conversations with parents who were concerned that their kids were getting worse rather than better. I remember having to find tactful ways to tell them, “Because your students are never here. You keep pulling them away for <insert extracurricular activity here> and <insert another extracurricular activity here>.”

I will never forget one Sunday after a worship service when a mom new to the church approached me with her teenage daughter in tow. She asked if I was the youth pastor. She said, “This is my daughter. She’s having sex and I need you to get her to stop.” I somehow managed to maintain the appearance of being unfazed by what the mom had just said. So, the daughter became a part of my student ministry, and I enjoyed having her participate.

Well… sometimes.

You see, the daughter was rarely there. The same mom that tasked me with fixing her was the same mom that took her camping every weekend… at least those weekends when they weren’t traveling for whatever sport was in season at the time. The mom had certain expectations, but she kept setting up barriers that hindered those expectations from being met. The bottom line is this: The mom had a list of priorities, and church participation was low on her list.

So, what are some of the factors that keep church people away from church?

The list of reasons is quite lengthy. Here are just a few:

  • People have gotten way too busy. Oversaturated lifestyles have lead to deprioritized church participation. These take on the form of weekend travels, professional sporting events, kids sporting events, going into the office, working from home, and fatigue due to an overly busy week.
  • There are many online options. Some have found that they like being able to treat church like take-home buffets. An assortment of easily available online church options allows Christians to choose their own worship time and sample many different worship options – all from the comfort of their favorite chair or bed.
  • Church doesn’t cut it anymore. There are those who claim they no longer need the church. Disenfranchisement and diminished perception no longer offer any value to a person’s life.
  • Burnout. I was reminded in a comment below that most of the work in a church seems to be done by a minimum of people. It becomes really easy for someone to be so busy doing church work that they get to the point where they can't do any more. So they just stop.
  • But wait… there’s more! As if we needed yet another reason to not be at church, we can now add “pandemic,” “social distancing,” and “forced shutdowns” to the list of reasons. All of the listed reasons above (and many more that were not) have one thing in common: People that once regularly attended church have gotten out of the habit of attending church.

Once church people get out of the habit of going to church, they rarely feel much compulsion to go back to church. This is not a new problem.

You might be surprised to know that the church in its earliest days also had to deal with people finding reasons not to “go to church.” At one point, the writer of Hebrews admonished some for “skipping church.” Now, it should be pointed out that “skipping church” wasn’t his exact words. Specifically, one English translation of his exact words have him saying:

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV).

Even as the writer was encouraging his readers, he warned them not to be like some who had gotten into the habit of not meeting with the body of believers. Interestingly enough, the New Testament word that we translate as “church” is a Greek word that seems to be better translated as “the gathering.” I would even suggest that it would be better to understand the idea of the “the church” as not so much being the “people of God” but rather the “gathered people of God.”

There is a distinction.

The people of God can still be the people of God even if they are scattered and dispersed. However, the gathered people of God carries with it the idea of the people of God being together.

So what?

I’m glad you asked. It should stand to reason that if a group of people was to be known as “the gathering,” then those people would make it a practice to actually gather. To the Hebrews writer, it seems that “neglecting to meet” carried with it the same weight as if he were referring to a soldier who deserted or abandoned his military duties. Essentially, the writer is directing his readers not to be like those who abandoned their brothers and sisters. Instead, they should make it a priority to meet regularly with one another, encouraging and exhorting each other as they looked forward to “the Day.”

But, what if…?

What if we could convince the people of God to stop looking at “going to church” as “going to church?” What if we could get the people of God to look at “going to church” as “gathering with others to accomplish the purposes of God?”

I am about to begin a series of articles with the hopes of doing just that. The articles will focus on “The Gathering People of God.” In this series, I hope to compel church people to see that they are participants in a much bigger story – a story that is still being written. Moreover, we are all actors in that story. As actors, we have the responsibility of acting, and acting requires participation.

Join the Discussion
With all of the above in mind, I am interested to know:

  • Have you seen a decline in church attendance?
  • What are the factors that you see contributing to those declines?
  • What can the church do to get its people more engaged?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments section, and be sure to check in next week for the second part of “The Gathering People of God” series, where we will see that “God is the Focus.”

Do I Have to Forgive?

By on September 28, 2019

DO I HAVE TO FORGIVE?

There's a story in the Bible about Peter that makes me laugh every time I read it. Peter was a disciple of Jesus who had a brother named Andrew (who was also a disciple of Jesus). At one point, Peter asked Jesus a question:

“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

So, why do I laugh when I read this? I grew up as the oldest of four kids so I can't help but read this passage without the filter of that bias. From the moment I first read this passage, I imagined Peter glaring at Andrew as he essentially asked Jesus "how many times do I have to forgive my wicked, slimy, no good, double-crossing, swindling, scheming brother?" I easily imagine Andrew repeatedly getting under Peter's skin and Peter wanting Jesus to put Andrew in his place. This behavior would certainly fall right in line with the long and rich history of one brother (or sister) trying to get another brother in trouble. I know that was certainly my experience.

But, imagination aside, it's much more likely that Peter's question was simply a general question in response to what Jesus had already been teaching about forgiveness. So, giving Peter the benefit of the doubt, we should take note of a couple of things going on in this passage:

  • Peter understands that he is supposed to forgive.
  • Peter thinks it is a great matter to forgive seven times.

As a Jewish man, Peter would have been taught that God extends forgiveness "for three transgressions but sends judgment after four" (Amos 2:1). So, by asking Jesus if he was supposed to forgive seven times, Peter likely thought he was being incredibly generous. Peter was probably expecting an "attaboy" or some other affirmation from Jesus. If so, he was likely deflated when Jesus replied (paraphrased) "there is no limit to how many times you should forgive." Later, Jesus put His words into action as He modeled what forgiveness looks like.

Consider this:

After Jesus had been betrayed
After Jesus had been put through an illegal trial
After Jesus had been mocked
After Jesus had been beaten and whipped
After Jesus had been stripped naked
After Jesus had been forced to carry His own execution device through hostile crowds
After Jesus had been nailed to a cross and hanged to die in excruciating agony
After Jesus had been taunted to prove Himself by coming off the cross
After Jesus had been jeered at by the criminals being executed next to him
After Jesus had to push Himself up using the nails in his feet just so He could breathe...

He was still somehow able to say "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Luke 22:34

He didn't say those words hoping that they would change their minds and release Him. He said those words because He knew what would happen if the full wrath of God was poured out on the world. He said those words because He knew that there were some there who would eventually repent and turn to God and that without forgiveness, that could never happen.

If there was ever someone who would have been justified for not forgiving, it would have been Jesus. Yet Jesus did forgive and in so doing, showed the world that forgiveness has no limits. There is no one that can possibly say that they were treated worse than Jesus was treated and that it's OK not to forgive.

Consider this... If someone comes to you who has done you great harm and they sincerely ask you for forgiveness and you choose to give it to them, you are following the example modeled by Jesus. But there's more; you also take a great load off of two people - them and you.

But maybe there are people who have harmed you that don't ask you for forgiveness. Maybe there are people who have hurt you and either don't realize it or they don't care. Even worse... maybe there are people that know they hurt you and are energized by it! What then?

There is still great freedom that comes when we let go of that hurt and choose to forgive. When we forgive, we follow the example that Jesus modeled for us AND we free ourselves from a heavy, crippling weight that adds to the harm already done to us.

So how do we let go?

Several years ago, I was sitting down at a restaurant thinking on this very thing and a thought came to me. I quickly grabbed a napkin and a pen and wrote this down:

Forgiveness comes when we take a long, thoughtful look at the person who wronged us, recognize the depth of the brokenness of the person who wronged us, and look on their brokenness with an equal measure of compassion.

I believe that's how Jesus was able to forgive those who harmed him as He was suffering on the cross (which, by the way, includes all of humanity - not just those with Him at the time). He saw our brokenness and looked upon that brokenness with compassion. If we sincerely pray for the willingness and the ability to look upon the brokenness of the people that have hurt us and respond with compassion, we can be confident that God will honor that prayer and free us from the hurt that has kept us from letting go.

Real Love Risks Being Offensive

By on July 29, 2019

"Just love everyone. I'll sort 'em out later" - God

That's the message that keeps popping up on different church signs all over the place (at least if you believe my Facebook newsfeed). Recently a friend sent me a picture of such a sign and asked what I thought about it. I replied "Short version… That's not how that works. Now if it said "share the gospel in truth and in love" then we would be on the right track."

WHY THIS STATEMENT IS UNBIBLICAL
A person should never assign a statement to God that God, Himself, never said. God never made this statement. He never even hinted at it.

WHY THIS STATEMENT IS APPEALING
I understand the sentiment behind the sign. Christians get a bad reputation for being hateful and mean spirited. A lot of it deservedly so. After all,

  • We have churches out there spouting the most hateful messages anyone could spout.
  • You can hardly go to a major sporting event without some street preacher with a bullhorn yelling about how God is going to judge them for their sins (which He is) but who does so in loud and angry tones.

So I understand why there are churches who want to counter that perception by demonstrating how loving and caring (and maybe even more important to them) how nonjudgmental they are. And what better way to do that then by putting a short, feel good statement on a church sign.

Don't get me wrong, love is important - at least Jesus thought so. After all, Jesus did in fact say "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35). But you can't take this statement by Jesus and turn it into "Just love everyone, I'll sort 'em out later."

WHY THIS STATEMENT IS DANGEROUS
This statement gives permission for Christians not to engage someone else where they need to be engaged the most - by helping them realize their need for God. God uses people to lead other people to Him. Most of the time, the people who NEED to hear it the most don't WANT to hear it all. According to this sign though, the loving thing to do is to not risk hurting someone's feelings or risk offending them. Just let God deal with it.

WHAT THIS SIGN IS REALLY SAYING
1) Don't hurt anyone's feelings - just love them and let God deal with them.
2) Don't offend anyone - just love them and let God deal with them.

But that's not what love looks like. True love doesn't worry about hurt feelings or giving offense when doing so can prevent a greater harm.

Anyone who has ever had to deal with a drug problem in their home likely has had to show tough love through an intervention. The loving thing to do is confront the addict regardless of whether or not feelings might get hurt.

Likewise, anyone who has ever seen a child about to walk out into heavy traffic likely has had to risk hurting the child in order to prevent them from being harmed to a greater extent. The loving action would never allow a child to walk into the street. Feelings must be secondary to safety.

Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller) once asked:

How much to you have to hate somebody NOT to proselytize them? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

"A Gift of a Bible" YouTube

Now, this is an ATHEIST making this statement. Yet certain, misguided, churches are saying it's OK not to share. In fact, it might be better if we left that part to God. Yet there is a danger when we take that approach.

One former Muslim put it this way:

I was raised a very devout Muslim in the United States. Every time I connected with a Christian they didn't know why they believed what they believed. All these other people called themselves Christian, but they never shared the gospel with me. I concluded that, either they didn't believe the Bible was true or, if they did believe it, they didn't care if I went to Hell.

Nabeel Qureshi - author of "Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus"

The Bible makes it clear that a person can't be saved apart from Jesus. It makes it clear that a person can't be saved unless they are told of Jesus. A person can't be told about Jesus unless a person risks hurting someone's feelings or offending someone to tell them about Jesus. Hurt feelings are an obstacle that almost every person has to find a way around before they can get to Jesus.

We can't wait for the "God'll sort 'em out" part of the sign. By the time that happens, it will be too late. They will be judged based on how they responded to Jesus. It's up to us to tell them about Jesus before that happens. Feelings might get hurt. Offense might be taken. But... that's the loving thing to do - provided it's done with and in love.